CHIOKE I’ANSON: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, that is WAIT WAIT… DON’T TELL ME, the NPR information quiz. Filling in for the legendary Bill Kurtis, I am one of many legendary voices of the NPR credit – Chioke I’Anson. And this is your host on the Chase Financial institution Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
SAGAL: Thanks all a lot. We do have an exquisite present for you immediately to start out the yr. Afterward, we will be speaking to Mike D’Antoni, the coach of the Houston Rockets of the NBA. However first, as you’ve gotten found out, Bill Kurtis is taking the week off. To take care of that basso profundo, he has to relaxation his voice as soon as each 40 years.
SAGAL: And so we’re delighted to welcome Chioke I’Anson to the decide and scorekeeper seat. Chances are you’ll know him because the man who voices NPR’s funding credit like so.
I’ANSON: Help for NPR comes from NPR stations…
I’ANSON: And help for Peter Sagal’s thighs come from Spanx.
SAGAL: You will additionally decide up how we do issues right here fairly shortly when you give us a name. The quantity is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT – that is 1-888-924-8924. Let’s welcome our first listener contestant. Hello, you’re on WAIT WAIT… DON’T TELL ME.
CAITLYN OWENS: Hello. I am Caitlyn from Birmingham, Ala.
SAGAL: Nicely, good day, Caitlyn. How are you?
OWENS: I am fairly nicely, truly. Thanks.
SAGAL: I am glad to listen to it. You do not sound such as you’re from Birmingham. Am I proper?
OWENS: Yeah. No, I am from, truly, Pensacola, Fla.
SAGAL: Pensacola. And the way did you arrive in Birmingham, which is not that far?
OWENS: Oh, yeah – lengthy journey, let’s simply say. I, about eight years in the past, simply popped up.
SAGAL: Yeah, it simply occurs.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Popped up?
OWENS: It actually simply occurred.
LUKE BURBANK: Have been you kidnapped?
SAGAL: Robust night time in a bar – you get up in Birmingham. Typically, it is simpler to remain.
SAGAL: Properly, Caitlyn, welcome to our present. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it is a function reporter for the Fashion part of The Washington Submit. It is Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Glad New Yr.
SAGAL: And subsequent, it is the host of the confessional podcast TBTL and of the general public radio selection present Reside Wire, which will probably be at The Triple Door in Seattle on February 16. It is Luke Burbank.
SAGAL: And a comic performing in Houston, Texas, subsequent week, January 18 on the Wortham Middle and host of the brand new weekly podcast No one Listens To Paula Poundstone. It is Paula Poundstone.
SAGAL: Caitlyn, welcome to the present. You will begin us off our first present of 2019 the identical method all the opposite years began. However this time, we’re calling it Who’s Chioke This Time. Chioke I’Anson, filling in for Bill, goes to learn you three quotations from the week’s information. In case you can appropriately determine or clarify simply two of them, you will win our prize – any voice from our present you may select in your voicemail. Are you able to go?
OWENS: Let’s do that.
SAGAL: Your first quote is, in fact, from the president of those United States.
I’ANSON: I’ll do it. In all probability, I’ll do it. I might virtually say undoubtedly.
SAGAL: The president was expressing his stern, unshakable resolve to declare a nationwide emergency so he can do what?
OWENS: Oh, I do not know – perhaps construct that wall.
SAGAL: Sure, construct that wall.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Construct that wall. All week…
SAGAL: …President Trump hinted he may declare a nationwide emergency to get the cash for his wall. Perhaps – he is unsure. The entire level of an emergency is that it is pretty apparent you should do one thing about it.
SAGAL: No one stands in entrance of a home on hearth for 3 days. Is perhaps an emergency. I do not know. It seems to be fairly burny (ph).
SAGAL: Principally, Trump declares an emergency solely when he needs one thing, and he cannot get it some other means. Like, oh, no, the White Home kitchen is out of Coke – emergency. Oh, no, my spouse turned 30.
BURBANK: Talking of the White Home kitchen being out of Coke, did you see how a lot he was sniffing through the TV handle?
SAGAL: There was…
SAGAL: The TV tackle was just a little bizarre however not almost as bizarre as Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi appeared to be…
SAGAL: …Giving the response, the 2 of them crammed collectively behind a single podium. First, Pelosi spoke, and Schumer simply stared at us…
SAGAL: …Silent, unblinking, as if the muscle tissue controlling his eyelids have been additionally furloughed from the federal government.
SAGAL: They stood there and stared at us, wanting just like the house owners of that previous motel the place all of the friends maintain disappearing. However have you ever seen their wax museum down within the basement?
ROBERTS: No, no. This was a shoutout – a really nuanced shoutout to “American Gothic,” OK? The one factor that was lacking was the pitchfork.
BURBANK: It had a really, we’re not mad at you – we’re disillusioned in you….
SAGAL: Yeah. Caitlyn, your subsequent quote is a little bit of an understatement about someone who introduced that he was about to turn into single this week.
I’ANSON: He is a catch. He is not a loser.
SAGAL: That was well-known matchmaker Patti Stanger’s evaluation of the most recent eligible bachelor within the scene. What wealthy man introduced his divorce this week?
OWENS: Oh, that shiny, bald man…
SAGAL: Properly, sure, however I do not know what…
POUNDSTONE: No, he…
SAGAL: …Him being bald and glossy has to do with it.
SAGAL: Jeff Bezos, sure.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The richest man on the planet introduced he was splitting from his spouse. Are you able to think about how obnoxious you must be when anyone does not need to be married to you regardless that you are value greater than 100 billion dollars?
SAGAL: Of their assertion, Mr. and Mrs. Bezos say they’re parting as associates and that even when they knew that it might finish in divorce 25 years in the past, they might nonetheless have gotten married. That is very candy. It’s. Jeff Bezos, in fact, credit his spouse for all of the love and help he acquired over the many years. And MacKenzie Bezos ended up with $65 billion.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, which suggests she will go to Entire Meals twice.
BURBANK: Does not she get some sort of a reduction since she owns it?
POUNDSTONE: No, I do not assume he permits that.
SAGAL: Now, this announcement appears to have come out of nowhere. However then the Nationwide Enquirer unveiled this investigative report. They stated they have been following Bezos round for six months. They came upon he was having an affair. They even discovered love notes he wrote to his girlfriend. Hey, because you checked out my face, you may also like what’s in my pants.
SAGAL: He owns Amazon, you see, so…
POUNDSTONE: Oh, I see.
SAGAL: The Enquirer truly did reveal the precise texts he allegedly despatched to his mistress, they usually have been a bit of odd. Chioke, are you able to learn a pair? These are all actual.
I’ANSON: I need to odor you.
I’ANSON: I’ll present you with my physique and my lips and my eyes very quickly. I really like you, alive woman.
BURBANK: It is alive woman that basically will get you.
SAGAL: Yeah, it actually does.
SAGAL: You’ll be able to see why he was so entranced by her. She’s alive.
SAGAL: Did he write these, or did he simply say, Alexa, ship some sexts?
POUNDSTONE: No, they’ve that factor on e mail now. It is simply horrible, the place you get an e-mail, after which it provides you these replies.
SAGAL: Responses, yeah.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, like positive or, you recognize…
SAGAL: That is nice.
POUNDSTONE: …I feel that is – yeah.
SAGAL: See you then.
SAGAL: I really like you, alive woman.
POUNDSTONE: Proper, precisely. Yeah.
SAGAL: Would not it’s bizarre, although? I imply, I do not know what’ll occur together with his present, I assume, girlfriend. But when he finally ends up courting because the richest individual on the earth, would not that be awkward? You recognize, I imply…
ROBERTS: As a result of courting is so clean in any other case.
SAGAL: No, I imply…
SAGAL: I imply, how do you make it possible for individuals are simply all for you and never in your billions of dollars?
POUNDSTONE: Cut up the invoice.
BURBANK: You already know, as someone who lives on a public radio wage…
BURBANK: …Individuals liking you for you is overrated.
BURBANK: Deliver it on, people who find themselves wanting to return out after me for my billions.
ROBERTS: Is that this the problem you need?
SAGAL: All proper, Caitlyn. Your final quote is from the world of literature – a revelation we heard about simply this week.
I’ANSON: We have to speak about wizard poop.
SAGAL: That was a headline…
SAGAL: That was a headline from Jezebel commenting on the current and surprising revelation about what literary universe?
OWENS: Oh, wizards – oh, “Harry Potter.”
SAGAL: Sure, “Harry Potter.”
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This was all the fad…
SAGAL: …In literary circles. So J.Okay. Rowling, the writer of the “Harry Potter” novels, sometimes writes extra about them in numerous boards, together with this web site Pottermore. And she or he wrote this essay and talked about in passing – simply in the best way that you simply do – that it wasn’t till trendy occasions that the wizards in her books put in loos at Hogwarts as a result of, you see, quote, “hitherto, they simply relieved themselves wherever they stood and vanished the evidence,” unquote.
SAGAL: This is how Dumpledore (ph) acquired his identify. So…
SAGAL: She might – we do not know. Ms. Rowling may be sly. She may need meant this as a joke. However individuals went nuts – particularly mother and father who had purchased their youngsters wizard costumes that have been dry clear solely.
POUNDSTONE: That is actually a gross concept, come to think about it.
SAGAL: It’s a gross concept. Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: You’d nonetheless need to go someplace privately, I feel, too.
SAGAL: Nicely, she says – nicely, that…
POUNDSTONE: I simply hate the thought of Hermione simply in school…
ROBERTS: Do not you assume there is a sure kind of too-much-information high quality to this?
ROBERTS: I imply, does anyone have to know?
SAGAL: Nicely, it is virtually as if – you realize, as a result of there’s this insatiable starvation for extra wizard stuff…
POUNDSTONE: Proper. Yeah.
SAGAL: …From Ms. Rowling, who has moved, in some ways, on to different issues. And so perhaps she’s simply, like, you need extra info? Right here you go.
POUNDSTONE: I used to be simply considering, although, that wizards would by no means need to endure impotence.
ROBERTS: As a result of?
SAGAL: As a result of…
BURBANK: If we do not ask that query, she’ll by no means reply it.
BURBANK: That is one technique.
SAGAL: No, I’ve to.
SAGAL: I’ve to. I’ve to do it.
ROBERTS: No, I…
SAGAL: Paula, why…
ROBERTS: I have to know.
SAGAL: Why is that, Paula?
ROBERTS: Magic wands?
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, you understand – Lifto (ph) [expletive].
SAGAL: Chioke, how did Caitlyn do on our quiz?
I’ANSON: Wingardium Leviosa.
I’ANSON: Caitlyn acquired three proper, making her a winner.
SAGAL: Congratulations, Caitlyn.
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